Deadliest Poison - Praise
Most of us like to be praised and do not like to be criticized. Parents use praise to encourage their children do better in their studies, participate in extra-curricular activities, adopt socially-appropriate behavior etc.
Spouses too use praise to demonstrate appreciation for each other. In games like the Olympics, medals are awarded to the winners, which is also a form of praise. All this is necessary to maintain social order within the modern day society.
But, for a spiritual aspirant, who wants to progress on the path of God realization, even genuine praise is a major deterrent towards achieving his ultimate objective. Praise increases ego and God is a friend of the humble, a protector of the destitute and a savior of the fallen souls. He stays far away from those who have ego. If there is any one major obstacle in realizing God, that is ego.
Spouses too use praise to demonstrate appreciation for each other. In games like the Olympics, medals are awarded to the winners, which is also a form of praise. All this is necessary to maintain social order within the modern day society.
But, for a spiritual aspirant, who wants to progress on the path of God realization, even genuine praise is a major deterrent towards achieving his ultimate objective. Praise increases ego and God is a friend of the humble, a protector of the destitute and a savior of the fallen souls. He stays far away from those who have ego. If there is any one major obstacle in realizing God, that is ego.
Shri Maharaj Ji has explained that the true goal (गति), true knowledge (मति) and center of love (रति) for the individual soul lies at the the lotus feet of Shri Krishna. In order to attain it, we need His grace and to get His grace we need to be humble. God cannot tolerate ego.
Devotion means love. Love is experienced by the mind and not by the senses. Total and complete mental attachment to God is called devotion, surrender or bhakti. Any action that is devoid of wholehearted devotion to God is merely a physical exercise and yields no spiritual benefit. Instead it makes one egoistic as it creates a false sense of pride and one may start considering themselves to be a great devotee.
Often times, it is seen in temples that devotees encourage their kids to learn to play musical instruments and lead chanting sessions. People demonstrate their appreciation for the kids by clapping and applauding them. This encourages the kids to perform even better and regularly go to the temple. But, the downside of this is that this often gives a boost to their ego rather than their devotion.
Devotion means love. Love is experienced by the mind and not by the senses. Total and complete mental attachment to God is called devotion, surrender or bhakti. Any action that is devoid of wholehearted devotion to God is merely a physical exercise and yields no spiritual benefit. Instead it makes one egoistic as it creates a false sense of pride and one may start considering themselves to be a great devotee.
Often times, it is seen in temples that devotees encourage their kids to learn to play musical instruments and lead chanting sessions. People demonstrate their appreciation for the kids by clapping and applauding them. This encourages the kids to perform even better and regularly go to the temple. But, the downside of this is that this often gives a boost to their ego rather than their devotion.
Ego is the main obstacle in one’s devotion. Chaitanya Mahaprabhu said -
तृणादपि सुनीचेन तरोरपि सहिष्णुना। अमानिना मानदेन कीर्तनीयः सदा हरिः॥ चै. महा.
Tr̥ṇādapi sunīcēna tarōrapi sahiṣṇunā. Amāninā mānadēna kīrtanīyaḥ sadā hariḥ. Cai. Mahā
Tr̥ṇādapi sunīcēna tarōrapi sahiṣṇunā. Amāninā mānadēna kīrtanīyaḥ sadā hariḥ. Cai. Mahā
The first step on the path of devotion is, to be more humble than a blade of grass, more forbearing than a tree, being respectful to others, while having no desire for self-respect.
Shri Maharaj Ji said:
Shri Maharaj Ji said:
मान मन! छाँड़ मान अपमान ।
maan man! chhaand maan apamaan
maan man! chhaand maan apamaan
“O mind ! Listen to me and discard the feeling of being respected or being disrespected”. Prem Ras Madira – Siddhant Madhuri, Pad Number 76
This entire song says “Till you get to meet your divine beloved, the beautiful Shri Krishna, what esteem do you have. Being under the influence of Maya, you continue to go door to door begging for happiness, what respect do you expect? Being under the influence of Maya you are the very abode of all ills. In this state if someone were to point out some of your fault(s), it is but true why then do you feel bad? Anger is a vice. And if you have no vices, and someone calls you a bad person, then how can you get angry? Know that you need to leave behind all these feelings of honor and insult. Cry in front of Shri Krishna while beholding his divine form to receive His grace.”
This entire song says “Till you get to meet your divine beloved, the beautiful Shri Krishna, what esteem do you have. Being under the influence of Maya, you continue to go door to door begging for happiness, what respect do you expect? Being under the influence of Maya you are the very abode of all ills. In this state if someone were to point out some of your fault(s), it is but true why then do you feel bad? Anger is a vice. And if you have no vices, and someone calls you a bad person, then how can you get angry? Know that you need to leave behind all these feelings of honor and insult. Cry in front of Shri Krishna while beholding his divine form to receive His grace.”
Once Sanatan Goswami had scabies and his whole body started stinking.Chaitanya Mahaprabhu still wanted to embrace Sanatan. This greatly grieved him so he decided to seek permission to leave, from Mahaprabhu Ji. Mahaprabhu Ji declined the request. So he sought permission from one of Mahaprabhu Ji’s devotees. When Mahaprabhu Ji heard of this, he was upset. He scolded Sanatan Goswami saying how dare you seek permission from him. He is not even worthy of washing your feet and you seek permission from him. Sanatan Goswami fell at Mahaprabhu Ji’s feet and began to cry,”My Lord! what sin have I committed for which you are feeding me the poison called praise. Praise gets into the head and gives rise to ego. You are the friend of humble, please don’t praise me and push me away from yourself”.
Since we live in this material world, we have to interact with both devotees and non-devotees for most parts of the day. So you would wonder how do we implement this philosophy in our day-to-day life.
Should I not praise others even when they do something good?
In the material world, one must perform all necessary actions, but remember that this world has been created for you to sustain this body. It does not have the power to give us what we need or take away what we have. Thinking so, remain unattached to this world. But as a devotee dealing with other devotees thank them honestly for their help and collaboration. e.g. thank them for helping in various seva projects undertaken to please Radha Krishna. In the example above to encourage the kids you could say,"Radha Krishna are pleased to see you work hard to please Them". This will keep them focused on trying to please Radha Krishna rather than inflating their ego.
What should I do when someone praises me?
As a devotee, always keep in your mind, praise is not an award for you. You hear those reluctantly and immediately divert their minds away from praising further. Then move on. Don't dwell in that praise and fuel your ego. Doing so will curb your ego and keep you steadfast on your spiritual progress.
Remember, human life is short lived but very valuable. Don't waste this invaluable time in thinking about being respected or being disrespected. Cry at the lotus feet of your Lord and ask for His grace and mercy. That is the only means of achieving your ultimate goal.
Should I not praise others even when they do something good?
In the material world, one must perform all necessary actions, but remember that this world has been created for you to sustain this body. It does not have the power to give us what we need or take away what we have. Thinking so, remain unattached to this world. But as a devotee dealing with other devotees thank them honestly for their help and collaboration. e.g. thank them for helping in various seva projects undertaken to please Radha Krishna. In the example above to encourage the kids you could say,"Radha Krishna are pleased to see you work hard to please Them". This will keep them focused on trying to please Radha Krishna rather than inflating their ego.
What should I do when someone praises me?
As a devotee, always keep in your mind, praise is not an award for you. You hear those reluctantly and immediately divert their minds away from praising further. Then move on. Don't dwell in that praise and fuel your ego. Doing so will curb your ego and keep you steadfast on your spiritual progress.
Remember, human life is short lived but very valuable. Don't waste this invaluable time in thinking about being respected or being disrespected. Cry at the lotus feet of your Lord and ask for His grace and mercy. That is the only means of achieving your ultimate goal.
